Going on a mission before Christmas is not smart. Everything reminds me of home and that families try to be together for this holiday. When I see children dressed up for a Nativity, I think of Rachel and Dave's cute daughters and how I'm missing seeing them dress up in Elizabeth's nativity costumes. Or that I could be babysitting while she scrambles around preparing a magical Christmas for their new family. And all the babies! I see a boy at church starting to walk and think of Julian. Or a ponytailed girl and wish I could hold Afton. Not to mention hug our own kids. Almost all of them are together in SLC this week (Ted's doing interviews) and I'm not there.
As each of our children left on their missions, I wondered why the church encourages families to be together and then rips them away from each other. But I see the faith, independence and growth they developed over their 18 or 24 months away. And what would I do without Rand here with me and Facetime? I am staying busy and will eventually adjust. Mentally I know it's good... but hard.
So again I read "he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me" Matthew10:37. And "For he shall give his angels charge over thee to keep thee in all thy ways" Psalms 91:11, praying that our children will be watched over in our absence. And lastly a verse that another woman in Frankfurt mentioned "... for I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Philippians 4:11
On the rainy days I think of Mia's favorite Annie song "Tomorrow" and realize that although the sun may not come out in Frankfurt tomorrow, it's shining somewhere. And as we sing of the Savior, I know that He is always near me, even when family and friends aren't.
